Is Relationship-Building Sabotaging Your Sales Process?

There’s nothing more frustrating than ending an initial meeting with a potential client feeling like your energy and time was wasted.

For years, the typical response was to brush it off and say:

“They were all over the place!”

“They didn’t know what they wanted”

“They said a lot, but wouldn’t tell me what I needed to know”

“I can tell they are shopping me for free information”

After a few minutes, you remind yourself sales is a “numbers game” and you can’t win them all.

They just weren’t ready to buy and there’s nothing you could’ve done, right?

However, anxiety builds as the pattern begins to repeat itself — this time with qualified leads.

It’s at this point you realize, this problem may be bigger than you previously thought.

If your meetings often end without a commitment, it’s time to shift blame away from your prospects, and toward your process.

The truth that many advisors miss, is that the real issue likely stems from a long-held misconception you’ve been conditioned to believe.

That building relationships is a necessary component to making a sale.

The know-like-and-trust model which most advisors use, requires you to “hit it off” with your prospect and connect socially, before discussing the seriousness of their issues.

At a glance, this tactic seems to be a common courtesy that deserves to be extended to everyone you speak with.

In fact, you’ve built your career from building relationships — what’s changed?

Since Covid, almost every industry has become commoditized and your potential clients no longer view rapport and small talk the same way you do.

While you might think you’re building value by becoming friends first, from their perspective, it’s a disingenuous attempt to cover up your hidden agenda to sell them.

The conversation continues, but spins in circles going nowhere since you’ve unknowingly broken their trust — the most valuable resource in today’s new economy.

In the back of their mind, they’ve completely checked out and built a wall of resistance, preventing you from going beyond a surface level conversation.

This requires you to expend unnecessary effort chasing and “following up” in the hope you’ll somehow get them back.

Reality Check: Relationship building in your sales process isn’t a bridge, it’s a roadblock in disguise.

A real relationship requires lots of time, and is meant to develop after they become a client, not before.

Removing the social aspect in your sales process doesn’t mean you need to be cold and distant.

It means you become more authentic, empathetic, and structured in your approach – like a doctor with bed-side manner.

You’re aware they’re not meeting with you to make a friend, they simply want their problem solved.

When a doctor meets with a patient for the first time, they have a very specific and structured diagnostic process they follow to the letter, and they aren’t looking to grab coffee with you.

This ensures they always give the highest level of value they can possibly provide — diagnosing the root of the problem at a deep level, and communicating the path to treatment with empathy and bedside manner.

That’s why it’s so important you have your own process to guide prospects through each and every time.

Instead of banking on building a relationship, view each meeting as an opportunity to connect around their problems, not social context.

Your potential clients will appreciate your genuine approach, and view you as a trusted authority who is focused on their needs and challenges, instead of a peer seeking validation and acceptance.

If you’re open to learning more about becoming a trusted authority in your market, and how you can craft your own trust-based selling process, get your complimentary books and consultation below.