This is a brief summary of a conversation I had with Michael, who called me from my website last week to see if I could help him think through something that has been bothering him more and more over the past few years.
Here’s what Michael said: “Ari, I’m having a problem. I’m just not enjoying selling anymore. I’ve been trained to set my mental guidance system to look forward to achieving the mental “high” that comes with making a sale, but what I’m discovering is that by the time I get through the “cat and mouse” game of the sales process and all the trials and tribulations that come with that, and the sale actually happens, it feels like a non-event.
“Almost like I spent so much personal energy chasing the sale that by the time I actually got it, I actually have this feeling of being let down…asking myself was it really worth the tension, stress and having to “jump through hoops” just to make the sales happen.”
Michael is by no means the first person to bring this issue up with me. In fact, quite a few people have mentioned that they’ve begun to question their own selling abilities and whether they “have what it takes.”
You see, if you decode what Michael is trying to say, he’s really saying “I’m beginning to feel that it’s my fault, I’m the one failing. I’m supposed to be jumping with joy when a sale comes through, but instead I feel like I gave up a part of me just to make the sale happen.”
This internal messaging being felt by Michael comes from the long-term impact of traditional selling and from the gurus that teach it, that selling is all about making the sale, and if you can just push yourself through the gauntlet of pushback and rejection, there is a slice of heaven waiting for you at the end of the “sales rainbow”.
In today’s world, teaching that way of thinking is a true injustice.
Why? Because the true “high” is not found in making the sale, it’s found in the ease and pleasure of connecting with a stranger, them trusting you, you solving their problem, and they deciding to choose your solution.
It’s the painful process of traditional selling that kills the sales “high’.
The traditional sales process IS the problem, not the person trying to implement it.
And that, I hope, should be a relief to many people who feel the same way as Michael.
I’ll say that one more time, focusing on making the sale is what steals your sense of grounding and who you are, because you have to put yourself in a position to accept rejection and that is what makes you feel like your failing.
I bet you haven’t heard that explanation at any recent sales seminars.
If you already have the new sales Mindset, you already know that letting go of the sale makes rejection impossible. It also eliminates sales “letdown”, because it’s all about staying focused on learning your prospect’s truth. This means focusing on what they’re telling you and really hearing it.
There’s a certain sense of grounded-ness being skilled and willing to accept the truth of where your prospect stands in relation if you both are truly a fit together or not.
And being open to hearing a truth-based “no” from a prospect and walking a way whole, is the power behind the Unlock The Game Mindset.
Here are some of the differences between focusing on making the sale versus focusing on learning the truth…