A lost art form: treating people with respect

Have you ever heard the phrase “There are no problems, only communication problems?”

That about sums up the truth of what may be holding many people back from effectively communicating with others in a deep way, creating trust in the process.

You see, many of us get caught up in hurrying through our day, multi-tasking, putting out fires, relying on emails to “talk” to potential clients, co-workers and family, that we lose sight of the real purpose of our day: to create deep connections with those around us.

There is a big difference between just connecting with someone through a medium (phone, email, SMS), and connecting with people while creating a deep level of trust at the same time.

Where am I going with this?

Creating trust with people in your world requires treating them with respect.

And what I’m about to show you is an example of how trust and respect can be “lost in translation” when we go through our day numb to the fact that we aren’t connecting at a deep level with people — we’re just getting through our day.

Here’s the story behind the message I’m about to show you.

I have a virtual team that I run from Sydney Australia, that helps me run my Unlock The Game business.

A great group of people who care deeply about the success of our subscribers, clients and members.

But they are human, like all of us, and over the last few months, I’ve been noticing tension-filled emails being passed among them and sometimes even emotionally-charged responses when they feel challenged by other co-workers.

They seem to have slipped into a comfort zone of focusing on defending themselves rather than creating trust and respect between each other.

So I stepped in the middle of this a couple of days ago and sent wrote a message to all of them about what our purpose is, and why they need to step out of themselves and rise to a higher level of respect for themselves and others.

(I think all of us need a kick in the pants like this once and a while)

My motivation for this was for my team to keep the “Ari culture’ alive, as they call it.

This message that I wrote was also inspired by my dad, Dr. Marvin Galper, who I interviewed last week about the psychology of Unlock The Game and why it is the only sales philosophy and program that values trust over making the sale. (Listen to interview below)

Ironically, creating trust and respecting others is what brings you sales and success in this day and age.

I normally wouldn’t be sharing an internal company message like this, but it was their idea for me to share it with you.

The result of this message has brought my team back into alignment with our mission of teaching people and companies how to create trust to generate sales success.

I hope the message below and the interview recording of my dad (below that) makes a difference in how you treat others around you.

——————————-
“Hi everyone, over the last few weeks I’ve been seeing emails being passed among us that are not written from the perspective of the Mindset that we teach our UTG members.

Many of us are not “living” the Mindset, meaning emails are being written that are too short to fully understand their meaning, some containing frustration, accusatory tones, and in some cases anger.

This has to stop, permanently.

I have worked hard to create a “pure” pressure-free work culture among us and will not allow anyone to contaminate that.

Most of you work with me because you were attracted to the way I treat you with respect and supportive communication (rare in most companies), and that’s the culture I need all of you to commit to keeping among us.

If you happen to be an overly sensitive person who reacts and lashes back with anger when you feel someone is challenging you, leave that at home, don’t bring it to work.

Is that asking too much to have you leave your personal issues at home and “come” to work with us in a positive and supportive environment?

I don’t think so.

I have days when I’m tired and frustrated because of a lack of sleep or issues at home, but I work damn hard not to let that overflow into communicating with any of you.

And you should commit to doing the same.

If someone writes an email to you that you feel is challenging you or causing you to feel upset, DO NOT RESPOND via email, instead, pick up the phone and speak with them respectfully.

In fact, many of us are using email and skype to avoid calling each other, which is causing us to de-bond (is that a word:)) and de-humanize each other.

Don’t we teach how to create trust and make things happen on the phone?

Don’t we teach: 1. Diffuse pressure 2. Get to the truth 3. Solve the problem

Shame on us for not being role models with our own program that we teach.

I monitor a lot of the communication that passes between us, to make sure we keep the “Ari” culture permanent.

“When we treat people as objects and not human beings, we dis-respect ourselves.”

That is a quote from my dad, Dr. Marvin Galper, that he said yesterday on our monthly QA interview where he was my guest interviewee.

Please take 30 minutes to listen to that interview below.

Then reply back to me with your feedback or comments, so I know you received this.

If I don’t hear back, I’ll pick up the phone and give you a call to hear your feedback. I practice what I preach.

My hope is that the interview will even inspire some of you to be the bigger person and apologise to others you may have been hard on or reacted emotionally in a response to them, without taking into account the Mindset — apologising is being true to yourself and it creates trust.

All of you have infinite potential to achieve more than you ever thought possible, and you start tapping into that when you are keenly aware of how others are receiving you.

When you’re communication is uplifting and encouraging, you tap into the best of you.

When you’re communication is kurt, over emotional, or anger-filled, you close down your ability to attract positive things in your life.

This is as true as fact.

That’s it from me, thanks for being in my world and I’ll look forward to hearing your feedback on that interview with my dad.

Have a good weekend.

 Q&A Conference Call – September 2009
An Interview with my dad, Dr. Marvin Galper

To your success,