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The Secret to Success That Most Never “See”

This past week, I put an order in for a box of new business cards for myself. I rarely use them, just when I’m speaking to large audiences and I’m approached afterwards by those who ask if they could reach out to me to get in touch.

I’m always generous with giving out my business card to those who carved out time in their day to come out and see me speak about how to create more sales by NOT focusing on the ”sale”, but instead focusing on trust.

(That is probably the only occasion when I do offer my card, because I protect my time ferociously and my staff knows that every hour of my day must be used to its highest value.)

It just so happens that this past weekend I spoke to over 400 budding entrepreneurs here in Sydney about how they can infuse trust across everything they do to change both their personal and professional lives.

After the talk, about 15 people came over and asked for my business card and I gladly handed them out in the spirit of reciprocity.

Over the past year, I’ve probably given out over 500 business cards to people who have said “I really love what you have to say, it’s the way of the future, I’ll be in touch.”

Surprisingly, actually not surprisingly for me anymore, out of the 500 people who asked for my card, only 5 have actually followed up and got in contact – that’s just 1% of the total.

The pregnant question is, why did the majority of those 495 people drop the ball and never get in touch after THEY were the ones that came over and asked for my card?


The simple act of stepping forward and taking action has now become one of those rare success traits that only highly successful entrepreneurs, business owners and sales professionals adopt on a daily basis.


Why are so many people paralysed and prefer the status quo or lack of change, rather than stepping up and taking action?

This is just my humble opinion, and I’m certainly open to your feedback and comments (you can post those below):

Reason #1: Fear Of The Uknown

With all that’s happening in the world these days, many of those struggling to be successful have become a magnet of fear. What they watch on TV or read in the paper immediately becomes their reality in their subconscious.

When opportunity for change is presented to them, their conscious mind says: “Yes, that makes so much sense, I need to do that”, within hours their subconscious says in rebuttal: “Well, that can wait, it’s more comfortable to just keep doing what you’re doing, that way you avoid making things worse.”

That is the two-way dialogue that goes through the majority of people’s minds when a glimpse of opportunity is presented to them.

For example, I may speak with someone who is actually a PERFECT fit for Unlock The Game, they are sick of selling the old way, they realize this way letqs them retain their integrity and puts them on a direct path to a breakthrough, they can find the money to invest in the system, they even say they will get the program by end of the day… but morning comes around and they didn’t take action and now they’re back to where they were the day before, their own status quo.

Reason #2: Not Believing They Can Do It

If we are presented with an opportunity and it seems like it makes total sense, even seems like something we could consider doing, our subconscious says to our conscious: “It all looks good, but since you don’t have total clarity and confidence in your decisions, don’t do this, it may not work out.”

So we get almost to third base on our own, then we trip ourselves up by not having a clear visual image of us being successful implementing the opportunity.

Those who still struggle to be successful doubt their own ability to following through and become successful.

Reason #3: Afraid Of Experiencing Success

Sure many want the nice house, new car and plenty of money floating around in their bank accounts as a nice visual image, but reality is, many are terrified of what they will have to endure if they do reach success.

What will their family and friends say? Will they make snide remarks and try to bring them down to “reality”?

Will they have to “hide” their wealth so they can fit in with everyone else in their social circles?

Will their friends become envious and put pressure on them to come back “down to earth” with what they spend their own hard earned money on?

Don’t for a minute think these thoughts are uncommon….they are in the back of most people’s minds who flirt with success, but never make the breakthrough.

In a series of upcoming articles, I’m going to address each and every one of these “reasons” and turn them flat on their heads to give you a path towards true success while at the same time quieting your subconscious from overpowering your conscious.

Our most success Unlock The Game clients are the ones whose subconscious support their conscious thoughts…therein lies the true secret to success.

Stay tuned…your comments welcome below.

To your success,

Ari Galper

Ari Galper

Ari Galper is the world’s number one authority on trust-based selling and is the most sought-after sales conversion expert for Business Owners. His newest book, “Unlock The Sales Game”, has become an instant best-seller worldwide. Ari has been featured in CEO Magazine, Forbes, INC Magazine and the Australian Financial Review. He is considered a contrarian in the sales industry and in his book, everything you learned about selling will be turned upside down. No more chasing, no pressure, no closing.

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  1. Peter Hainzl

    Hi Ari,

    Apologises! I am one of those people who came to one of your seminars and swapped cards with you and did not take the next step. I have no excuses for my actions… But I have started reading your blogs and articles and have started using your UNLOCKTHEGAME methods to get results.

    I believe what you say to be so very, very true. It has taken a tonne off my shoulders and I am looking forward to your 1 day coaching class in March, Sydney, Australia.

    Your learning student, Peter

    Sydney, Australia

  2. John

    These are all good points!

    The best way I have found to initially defeat the subconscious undertow is

    1. Decide on an idea quickly but thoroughly – think it through but do so quickly. Hours not days or weeks.

    2. Once you consciously decide that an idea, project or opportunity is a ‘go’ then take immediate action. 60 seconds not ‘first thing in the morning’. Reverse engineer what must happen first and start on step 1 right away.

    3. Commit that first half hour to finding your initial goal that can be accomplished within 4 hours & just do it. NOW.

    4. Before you finish for the day review your accomplishment and plan step 2. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

    In the beginning ignore everything but making the next step and achieving it. Begin each day reviewing the achieved steps and start taking the next step.

    In short, force action. Small constant achievement fuels belief and results often with stunning progress as you look back every day at your achievements.

    Evidence of success mounts, your defenses grow daily and your conviction and belief surge making each step faster and easier.

    Your self image also raises and you naturally expect more of yourself, and achieve it.

    Action is the only fuel that success uses. It is better to take a wrong action and keep moving than do nothing & sit in the same spot, spinning your wheels and digging your rut deeper.

    If in doubt, act. Many steps cannot be known until you make a ‘wrong’ one. So act quickly and adjust as you go because you actually can’t fail unless you don’t move.

    Finally the subconscious follows your conscious.

    90% of the issues only arise if you sit and ponder. If you are in constant motion and focused on your goal while reviewing your accomplishments daily – your subconscious will move to support, not question.

    If you hear questions in your head you are not acting quickly enough – move faster so your subconscious can constructively help you.

    If you are not acting quickly enough then the subconscious overtakes you, assumes there must then be a problem and starts to generate what possible problems exist so a solution can be found.

    You feel this as a sense fear, doubt and loss as you start the death cycle of yet another opportunity.

    Your brain is moving faster than you are acting. Act faster so it focuses on solving real problems. Your just too smart for your speed – move faster NOW.

    This may sound odd but I learned this from working with several self-made billionaires here in the US and Europe. They all had the habit of acting immediately. Branson said it best – ‘screw it, let’s do it’ and action started immediately.


  3. Archie J. Maderazo

    At times, we believe that our comfort zones is where we should be, but reality is that, life is a progression. One can never be stuck to where he is, otherwise we can not keep up with the changes of time.

    Thank you for reminding us that to have: Faith, a strong belief in ourselves, to hold on for the promise that something great is in stored for each one of us could propel us not just to have a life of success but of significance, else we don’t take any action.

    I have learned so much from Unlock the Game.

    Thanks Ari and God Bless.


  4. Larry

    Very true, I listened in on a speech from a cancer survivor and she said the very same things about our subconscious always working against, because of what we put in there. Also very true, I actually stopped passing out business cards. I made up a flier with some personal info about myself and now hand that out.

    Rumford ME

  5. Makarandd Dandawate

    I am a INSURANCE ADVISOR of worlds one of the most largest & respected company i.e. Life Insurance Corporation of India (LIC). I agree with your views. The fear factor is very much haunting in mind when we going for call/sale.
    Therefore we always try to avoid.It disturb our mind,business & ultimately success. I think you had correctly pinpointed those issue.I will very grateful if you can give us a suggestion how to act confidently.

    Aurangabad,maharashtra, INDIA

  6. Ivo D'Silva

    Hello Ari,

    I cannot agree more on your 3 point on why people prefer the status quo.

    I would however like to add that at the pace this world is changing and technology almost taking over our world, we as humans have stopped believing in ourselves. The human touch is slowly withering away and we have begun to be more dependent on machines.. The spark in our minds is slowly being put off, and we withdraw into our comfort zone and become more complacent

    Being a successful sales manager for over 35years I have seen this transformation and make it my mission to address the mindset of my sales professionals, making sure this is constantly aligned with the ever changing trends in the business world.

    This business environment of diminishing markets and growing competition is here to stay and will not change. What must change is us!!! As sales professionals we have to step back and come out fighting with a new mindset.

    I would like to conclude with this thought:

    “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” ~G.B. Shaw, Mrs. Warren’s Profession, 1893

    Auckland, New Zealand

  7. Libby Dedman

    I totally agree with everything you teach Ari. As a result of what you share with us, I am now the “lucky one” making things happen in my business…keep it coming!

    Newcastle, NSW Australia

  8. Meredith Bell

    I totally agree with your assessment re. Reasons #1 and #2, Ari, based on my experience working with hundreds of entrepreneurs and business executives over the past 27 years. It’s amazing how negative self-talk keeps us from taking the actions that could lead to greater success. I’m not as sure about #3 applying as universally as the first two.

    Thank you for articulating these issues so clearly. Before we can change our beliefs, we first have to understand that we have them and how powerfully they control our thoughts and actions.

    Newport News, VA

  9. Ian R McAllister

    Great post Ari!

    You certainly live by your own words, as you nearly knocked me off my office chair over six years back when you picked up the phone to me after I “just bought” your CD package. Still to this day, I fully believe that that CD package was one of the best value products that I ever bought, in part from that resultant conversation.

    Part of the answer I guess is in states of mind, and that is what you are hinting at here. We never know what is possible until we try.

    As a human race, we have only been able to progress from cave to 747 through trying, and resultantly on occasions failing. Personally therefore, why do we in the modern world see failure as such a life ending event, when for most of the time the human race has been on this earth, its was just doing our thing?

    Keep asking, keep trying, and keep picking up the phone – you never know what might happen.

    With Best Regards,

    Ian R McAllister

    Cardiff, Wales

  10. Ed

    Hi Ari,

    You are Spot on!!! I enjoyed much success in my sales career. Then Circumstances affect you in a way that creates fear, lack of confidence an utter paralysis. My challenge is to get momentum out of inertia and I am trying to do it one day or one moment at a time. Thanks for your encouragement and help in changing my mindset!

    Richmond, VA

  11. Marcia

    Good observation, Ari. I am an NLP Change Practitioner, and this is what I help people with every day. The purpose of what I do is to move my clients from an unresourceful, undesireable state to a more desirable state by adding resources.

    You first need to understand what is going on for you that is holding you back, and how that belief has been serving you over time, i.e. keeping you safe. Then you need to get clear on what you would rather have – actually visualize it and get detailed about it.

    Now, decide what resource would help you move from where you are to where you want to go. Is it more confidence, trust, faith in your abilities, etc.? Think of a time when you had that resource any time in your life. Play it like a movie and then step into the movie and be there. See how you are acting, what you hear and feel, then step out again. Think of another resourceful situation, play the movie and then step into it. Experience it fully and then step out. Try to have at least 3 resources. This is called creating a Quantum State. It is like an energy field that makes you tingle all over. Use it whenever you feel stuck or unresourceful.

    I hope this helps.


  12. Paul Pate

    Fascinating isn’t it Ari. We listen to the “self talk” and let that dictate our direction when if we listened to “our heart,” “the still small voice,” we would be led into challenging new experiences that would bring new vitality, openings, and opportunities to our life. We really need to “see” the fear as it arises, the tendency to put it off till tomorrow, and as we see that be empowered to do what would be most beneficial. You’ve got the goods Ari!

    San Diego